Being Indian
has always been in my blood. When I
traveled to India I was confronted with the idea of being Indian and how I was
going to address myself. Of course it
was easy because the people of India were referring to me as a Red Indian. I liked it but I feared for the people who
cannot stand the names Red Skins, Indians or Fighting Sioux. I went with the Red Indian because it
described the continent I was from and made things easier than telling people I
came from the Oglala Sioux or Oglala Lakota.
I really do not mind telling people information but sometimes it is
easier to go along with their ideas. I
have been told my whole life I was Indian, sometimes it sounds like NDN. I am trying to remember being called and
Injun. I am not sure but I use to root
for John Wayne as a child but that may be I did not want the fake Injuns from
killing the Duke. It is hilarious to see
a many people dressed up as Indians and if they were more like the Dances with
Wolves Indians it would have been easier to wish for the death of the evil John
Wayne characters.
Being Indian is easy because you
just need to be yourself. Unfortunately
the United States has made it difficult to get a clear picture of who the
American Indian is in real life. I was
told today I needed not be dependent on others and it was in my best interest
to provide for myself. I believe this is
a root cause of a lot of destruction. I
worked in Minnesota and sometimes would have three or four jobs as I worked
through college. I had a job offer in
1994 and they brought me into their company and then came up with an offer, it
was fifty thousand to start. I was truly
impressed with the offer but I had plans to return to Pine Ridge Indian
Reservation. I felt a calling on my life
and I was sure I would not leave if I accepted a good job offer. I was also being groomed for upper management
in the corporation I was working for but I knew I would have to leave my
employment. I just turned thirty and I
was full of life and it was a great time to come back to the Reservation with
hope and determination. I went from a
upper middle class city to the poorest place in America. Shannon County is the poorest place because
of the population and the lack of trust in the Government. Over the past forty years it has been in the
top places of poverty.
So our little family moved back
to poverty with the idea of serving the people.
At first it was surreal because we did not really work outside of our
church. We struggled through the first
year and then my wife went to work as a teacher. She did not for seven years and in the mean
time I worked and we got along. Since
1995 we have built a small coffee house and it has been successful for the most
part but it has been very busy work. We
worked in tandem as we are really different in personality and tastes. I like diet soda and she likes coffee. I sometimes drink tea but mostly I drink diet
soda but I have become a cook and my wife has always been the baker. I have been able to thrive in both worlds but
of course I need to be able to rely on myself.
It may be the personal responsibility I seem to hold because of my
politics. I have seen the results of the
dependency created by the Government.
So the Indian has always been
reliant on other Indians. It is a good
way of life if people reciprocate and everyone pulls their weight. Having an understanding of the city life I
have seen people rely on each other. I
was playing basketball in South Minneapolis one afternoon and I was playing
pretty good that day and I finished up and there was an Indian who walked up to
me and said, “You are a Matthews aren’t you?”
I told him I was and he told me he was my cousin from Pine Ridge. He took me across the street and introduced
me to a bunch of his friends. He was
bragging about me playing ball and I was smiling. I met a household of Indians being
Indians. They were living in a big house
and relying on each other. I do not know
how that worked out but I have seen others live the same way. Being Indian is easy and I have always chosen
to be more Indian than American. But
alas I am an American Indian by some people’s view. When you travel Indians always find each
other because we have similar lifeways and contexts. I believe it is good to be Indian and that is
how I will live.
